Why are women so hard on other women? And why that’s the wrong question to ask…
A woman recently voiced her opinion about a character I wrote that I found particularly interesting. She relayed it was hard to believe that a 24-year old woman could be as professionally successful as the character was. This has me wondering…pages of romance novels are filled with successful young men. Why not women? Why is that so unbelievable? Also this female character is wealthy and comes from a loving, hardworking, and successful family. I was told this also wasn’t believable.
I’ve had enough life experience to understand this perspective is not limited to a singular reviewer. Examples abound.
So why are we as a society quick to judge someone, particularly a woman, for living a life they love? We want success, we want affluence, we want careers that give us purpose and joy (if we so choose). So why do we find it unbelievable when someone does achieve this things?
As these questions bubble up, I realize I’m asking the wrong questions. Instead I find it more interesting to ask–what can we do as women to contribute to our collective greater good? What can I do as an individual to contribute positively to women who desire purpose and affluence–whatever that looks like? For some it may look like a woman who primarily focuses on raising a healthy, happy family. For others it may look like the top of a corporate ladder. So how can I, as one tiny person on the planet, contribute to a more positive perspective of female success?
I can celebrate women. I can celebrate women who are successful in whatever ways they are passionate about.
And I can write stories of women with these qualities. And if that doesn’t suit some, that’s okay too.There are plenty of books out there.
As a woman, I feel that it’s important to believe in another woman’s success–whether it’s a fictional character or a real-life character. And in the spirit of things, I celebrate that this woman who voiced her opinion of this character actually helped clarify my own intention, my own purpose, and my own success. And for that, I am grateful.